DisFUCKtion

I decided that I would post on the weekends drama that occured in my dysfunctional family.
It will be 3 years in march that my sister and nephew was murdered by my brother-in-law. He then commited suicide. my family has been through some tough times in my life. Alcoholism, drug abuse,domestic violence, and many more but this is the hardest to swallow. friday was my nephews 5th birthday and my mother is doing absolutly terrible. After this tramatic event occured My mother had 34 years soberiety go in the toilet. Her drinking has her mind so sick that she is blind to the fact she has a family loving her. She called me Sat. night very drunk telling me she was looking at her wrist with a razor. I paniced and got my stepfather on the phone. She told him her plans but he thought she was just saying crazy things. As I was asking him for the physical address she cut herself. He did nothing and would not give me the address. He failed to tell me she did it. I live an hour and half away. He told me she took her night medication and she was fine. I still was not told she she did this.The next day(yesterday) they came to my house to visit and talk. I wanted them over to didcuss further treatment options for her addictions and she showed me her wrist. It was not a medical issue but a suicide attempt is not something I take lightly with my own past. I tried to speak to her with firmly and she ignored me. I also spoke to her husband. He is in complete denial and uneducated on the severity of what she did. I called my family for an intervention. We started the process for her commital and she frecked out. Today, she threatened her doctor for violating her HIPA agreement so we had our hands tied. I called her social worker and was advised to seek inpatient care. My mother so pissed at me for what she called "Starting shit!" I could go on and on but in a nutshell she got away with it it. I did everything in my co-dependent power to "FIX" the shit and now I am wrecked and my panic attacks have been occuring all day. DysFUCKtion by way of addiction with all the amenities suck!!!  I TOOK A BIG CRY IN THE SHOWER!"  It helped, I relaxed with a xanax and now I am retiring to my bed with head under my covers. My mantra of the day:  I WILL SURVIVE I WILL SURVIVE I WILL SURVIVE!!!!!!